Five Witchy Maneuvers To Instantly Improve Your Life Using Water
featured on Zak Rosen's The Best Advice Show
Zak Rosen’s The Best Advice Show is one of my ALL TIME FAV podcasts, & I’m this week’s featured guest, sharing two Witchy Maneuvers To Instantly Improve Your Life Using Water!
Are you exhausted from constantly managing up? Riddled with self-doubt because you aren't valued at home or at work? Suffering from indecision because your personal values don't align with your professional situation? Plagued by imposter syndrome? Stuck in a psychic tractor beam?
You, too, can use water to:
Let go of self-doubt, indecision, stuckness, second-guessing, and other forms of self-sabotage.
Kick out psychic trespassers who are taking up psychic real estate without paying rent.
Freeze a negative influence/pyschic tractor beam.
Process anxiety, fear, anger, grief, and other icky emotions.
Learn to love yourself more.
Maneuvers #1 and #2 are featured in Zak’s podcast, and he actually PERFORMS THE RITUALS IN REAL TIME, ON AIR, and it’s totally magical and totally delightful, and I highly encourage you to give the 9-minute episode a listen. It will, indeed, INSTANTLY IMPROVE YOUR LIFE and give you the mental and emotional boost you need to tackle life’s challenges with curiosity, compassion, and confidence!
Try These Witchy, Water-based Maneuvers to Improve Your Life with Dr. MLE
In celebration of a holiday that stirs up all kinds of mixed emotions, I’m delighted to share all four maneuvers with you!
#1: Let Go of Self Doubt, Indecision, Stuckness, Second-Guessing & other Forms of Self-Sabotage
Walk over a bridge, ideally over salty water but any bridge will do. As you walk over that bridge, imagine yourself walking from the past through the present into the future without looking back. This is absolutely essential: DO NOT LOOK BACK. Past is the base of the bridge, present is the top, and the future is on the other side.
#2: Kick out psychic trespassers who are taking up psychic real estate without paying rent
Write down whatever’s troubling you as specifically as you can on a piece of toilet paper. Feel free to write, feel free to use Sharpie. Throw that toilet paper in the toilet, pee all over it, and flush your psychic leaches away.
#3: Freeze a negative influence/psychic tractor beam
If there’s a person, organization, idea, ambition, etc. that has a negative hold on you—something that served you in the past that no longer serves you in the present—get a thin piece of paper that you can roll up like a scroll. Write down whatever that is, being specific yet concise. Roll up the paper into a scroll, tie with black string, place in an ice cube tray, wrap in foil, and freeze. For an extra-magical boost, add lemon peel and/or a rusty nail.
When you feel the magic has done its work, and the person/organization/idea/ambition no longer has a psychic hold on you, deposit the ice cube somewhere symbolic, like a gym or health club, a church or synagogue, a park or a school, the public beach or state forest, cemetary, etc.
#4: Process Anxiety, Fear, Anger, Grief & Other Icky Emotions
Get hip deep in some salty water—like the Gulf of Mexico—and let that salty water soak out and wash away whatever those icky emotions are. When you are feeling cleansed and pure, walk away without looking back. If you can’t access a natural body of salt water, an Epsom salt bath will do just fine—and can help you to drain your woes away.
#5: Learn To Love Yourself More.
When you have past the point of no return, are going through a midlife crisis, or have forgotten how to love or trust your own self—take a self-love shower. It’s effervescent and delightful and guaranteed to instantly boost your mood and remind you that you, messy, paradoxical, counterintuitive you—are beautiful and amazing and worthy of the best gift you can give yourself which is love.
Mix together:
Fruits—any kind of fruits will do, orange or grapefruit peel or slices, berries, chopped up mango, banana or kiwi. Fruits promote healthy self-sexuality and align the spirit with sweetness, beauty, and the luxurious abundance of the Earth, of which we are one small part!
Honey—ideally, though maple syrup or molasses will do. Honey is an orgy of bees, flowers, and sunshines and will amplify the erotic powers of the fruits and sweeten your intentions.
Flowers—flowers translate our words/intentions into song, which is really lovely way for the universe to receive our messages. You can go with your gut, use whatever flowers are available, or choose flowers specifically for their symbolic properties.
Herbs—any herbs will do. You can choose intuitively, use what’s available, or choose herbs specifically for their symbolic properties. I like cinnamon for protection, prosperity, healing, and abundance.
Mix together in a pitcher and pour half a bottle of champagne on top—maybe the whole bottle, depending on how rotten you’re feeling. I use a cheap $5 champagne that I would never drink but that is perfect for these purposes.
Get in the shower, rinse all the ickiness off, and then pour your self-love mixture over your head, rub it into your hair and your skin, get sticky and effervescent and delicious and revel in BEAUTIFUL, PARADOXICAL, COUNTERINTUITIVE, MESSY YOU!
Cleanse yourself, and transition slowly back into your day.
And remember, if you’re short on time or an ingredient, it’s okay to skip it or to substitute or really just spin the whole thing in a direction that feels even better for you.
These rituals are just a jumping off point.
All of my instructions are 100% customizable.
That’s all for now, babes!
You can access the rest of my alchemical FLOSS rituals here on Substack, and all of my transformative SAUCE workouts on Youtube.
Please join me: in reclaiming the power that is RIGHTFULLY YOURS!
ONE SELF LOVE SHOWER AT A TIME!
xxxO, Dr. MLE | Beach Witch
The work and research I put into this Soul Sauce + Floss are entirely reader-supported. If you enjoy the content I provide and are not ready to become a paid subscriber, you make a one-time tip. If you can. I appreciate each one of you who follows Soul SAUCE + FLOSS. You all truly make it into a magical little online community. Thank You.
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